Phan Thiet Apr'12

When I got back to the house after my weekend in Nha Trang I was glad that I'd had the couch surfers staying. Water had come in through the roof at the top of the stairs, which they'd dealt with, and Daisy had moved her family into my bedroom. As the weather had returned to normal I moved her and her children back outside. I don't want to have to take care of them and clean up after them. I don't even clean up after myself. I went to Vietcom Bank but they'd had a super busy day after the three day weekend and were still doing paperwork when I got there. Despite the wasted trip I was very happy when the class was cancelled and I could go home. I ended up having Pho with my CS'ers. Usually I don't have classes on a Wednesday morning but just as I was about to leave school on Tuesday afternoon Ms. My came up to me and told me that the APC football team would be in action on the Thursday morning and the students would be going to watch. Therefore could I teach Wednesday morning and take off Thursday morning. I said I didn't mind, I wasn't even perturbed by the lack of notice! Unfortunately this meant that the CS'ers would have to leave when I did at 6.30 am, I don't think they minded as they wanted an early start. I got to work and no one seemed to know what was going on. Fifteen minutes after the lesson was supposed to start I had about five students, I cancelled the class. What a waste of time. I went for a coffee and then met Daniel and Anh for lunch at Win Cafe. Win cafe is one of my favourite coffee houses. It has the same stuff as other coffee houses, such a water feature, indoor/outdoor areas, WiFi etc. but it serves food all day and has some Western food on the menu that's not bad. I finished the day with my ESL class and then a few beers with Dan Q and Anh Chien. I was ready to sleep late the next day, I was still tired from my weekend away. I started the day having coffee with Su, one of the chefs at Novotel, he's a super nice guy. He says he's going to come to my house and cook for me, we'll see if it happens. This was followed by work of course but Ms. My gave me some good news. The youth union were having some sort of party over the weekend and some of our staff were performing in this, so the school would be closed on Friday afternoon to enable them to rehearse. The students would be sent home early and all classes cancelled, including my kindergarten class, I was ecstatic. I've come to dislike the kindergarten class, it's the bane of my life and along with my one difficult high school class means that I have a difficult class every day. I finished the day with dinner in Mui Ne with Daniel and Anh. We went to Sinbad for a kebab, the food was as fantastic as usual. I do love that place but feel as I've been there a lot recently, I need a change. The half day on Friday was lovely, I had lunch with Carlo and then a quiet evening at home. In fact my entire Easter weekend was fairly low key, I did drink but I didn't go out on any of the three evenings, I was home. At work the search goes on for a new teacher, I think Ms.My has accepted that we will not get a new teacher for the rest of the school year. We have been talking to an Australian lady, Tina, as a possible replacement for me next year. She is planning a trip to Phan Thiet from Australia to see the school, meet us and observe some lessons. I'm excited to meet her, if she's willing to put in this amount of time and money before she even has the job, imagine what she'll do when she's got it. I am not happy at the moment, I am lonely and although it's my own fault that doesn't make it easier to bear. I think there are other things mixed up with it but I am not sure that I can even explain it to myself. I don't mind living alone, I can have a fairly active social life if I want it and my money situation is OK. I think it's running through my brain that this was the month that I might have had a visit from Darren and although I will see him in August, it's still a while away. It's not now....It doesn't help that there is no one here that I am close to. I know Sasha and Ola are only 20kms away but we're not close, not really. And if I can't explain how I'm feeling to myself how can I explain it to someone else. I think Claire or Kate would get it, but I don't want to talk to them about this over the computer. I need a friend who's here. I think I could cope better with the loneliness if it didn't make me prone to trying to reach out to people who can't give me what I need. Logically I know that there is only 2 or 3 people who could help me right now and none of them are here, but I still keep trying. Foolish. I keep hoping that I will grow up one day and stop doing foolish things. I suspect it's never going to happen. I'm a Muppet! And I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I found out today that one of my friends from Hokkaido was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year. She caught it early and is doing well but she posted today that another former Hokkaido teacher also has breast cancer and in her case it is much further advanced. These are two women are younger than me, I need to be grateful for my blessings. As always, this is easier said than done. I cannot believe that I'm halfway through April, time does seem to be flying despite August seeming so far away. I am feeling better than I was. There were a couple of days where I was in an absolutely boiling rage and have no idea why. There's nothing really wrong and I have a good life, one of my own choosing. I am fortunate, I just need to remember that and get over myself! And if I want it I can have a male companion! On Easter Sunday I had lunch with Tan and his friends, one of his friends, Tuan, took a liking to me and has been texting/calling ever since. The following Thursday he had a party at his house in Phu Long. Phu Long is a small town about 10kms from Phan Thiet along Highway 1. It's a scrappy place but Tuan has a nice new house all to himself and some lovely friends. I got a lift from Mai, another of Tan's friends and thought I would die on the way. It was a good night but I am glad that I took Daniel and Anh with me. Tuan's sister in law, Hue, speaks excellent English and works in a new 4star resort that is opening at the end of the month, she's invited the three of us to go to the opening, I hope it happens. What hasn't happened is Su coming to the house to cook for me, not happy but not really surprised that it didn't come off. Last Saturday Daniel held a house warming party at his apartment, which I had to go to. Tim had invited me to go out to dinner in Mui Ne with the Novotel crew but since I'd badgered Daniel to have a party in the first place I felt I had to go. That has happened to me a couple of times now, Tim invites me out but I already have plans that I can't get out of. However I did stop off at the hotel for a drink beforehand, it's a very nice place. The party was a little weird. There were a group of ladies who work at APC and none of them were drinking. Then there were some on Anh's college friends, I think that they weren't drinking because the APC ladies weren't. So there were about 20 women and then they were about 5 Vietnamese and 3 Western men, who were drinking. Of course I joined the guys and had a beer or two. After the party closed down a few of us went to Bocano, when I got inside I was ready to leave, it was half empty. The others wanted to stay, so stay we did. It wasn't a bad night, just not great and after staying in on Friday night I needed a great night. Sunday afternoon was spent at Novotel and then I got a call from Tuan. He and some friends were having a party, could I join now? It's seems to always be last minute. I went and had a couple of beers with them but then went home. I might have a late night in the week but I try to never start the week at school with a hangover.